My wife has had to carry our little girl in her belly for the last 7 and a half months. That’s right, I am going to be a father! It has not been easy. Her first trimester she lost ten pounds, and she was already at the exact weight for height, so we were really scared we could possibly lose our precious baby. She has, like so many women before her, had to carry the weight of working full-time, scheduling doctor’s appointments, trying her very best to eat healthy so that our daughter would be well nourished. She and I have often talked about how ridiculous it is that any expecting mother should have to work during those nine months. In a male dominated society, we men rarely if ever think about the what an expecting mother carries. Its not just a fetus, she’s carrying around worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities that we will probably never understand. At the very least we can understand through acknowledgment that what she and her body are going through is extremely tough.
Interestingly I too have had to carry something during this ongoing pregnancy. My wife’s movements began to slow whenever we walked, and it would take her some time to get in and out of our cars. She has had MANY restless nights. I’ve carried my own fears and frustrations, I have had to carry her through insecurities and fears. During this time, I have to the best that any man can, carry an understanding of what she is going through.
The weight of father hood is one other issue I am carrying. That weight consists of feeling inadequate, outright fear and anxiety, but it also carries with it feelings of deep love, pride, and joy. The one thought that stand prominent in my mind however, is that pregnancy is not just about what or whom the mother to be is carrying in her womb. Pregnancy has forced me to take a deeper look within myself to see the type of man I am, to see what I carry, and what I need to let go of in order to be the best husband and father possible. It is about looking at what my wife has to carry, and seeing how I can help her uphold all that she has to do, and though she is pregnant, the mother to be should also take stock of what she can do to help carry whatever burdens her husband/baby making partner has to carry.