Here I am, the last week of my paternity leave. I hear the sounds of the city slowly waking; buses lumbering down the avenue, a car rushing to make the light. I have been awake, since sometime yesterday morning.
It was 48 degrees Fahrenheit and windy when I left to get us coffee at 4:50am. Naomi, our daughter flipped out at ten last night. My wife very gently laid her in the bassinette, and before she could turn her back, the almost non-stop wailing began. It is hard not get angry, or be frustrated. She is only 3 weeks old, so I practice deep breathing, I pray, I tell Naomi I love her, and I kiss her. Then my wife takes over when she sees I am running out of steam. It is a balancing act, parenting.
I found that fact out the first night Naomi came home from the hospital. Like last night and into this morning, she barely slept. My wife so good at soothing her, me? At the time, not so much. The following morning with exasperation in my voice I said, “I can’t do the whole calming thing. I can get up change a diaper, and feed her a bottle, but I need you to calm her down.”
My coffee is getting cold, and I sit here trying to poetically describe my thoughts and feelings as a new dad. Let’s just say I am stoked, and I truly love this precious little girl. I truly just wish she could sleep through the night. So as the city begins to awaken, I must find ways of keeping myself up to get the day rolling.